Time Negotiation

I have always heard of negotiations for salary, title, position and so on. One of my friends even had a negotiation on which type of secretary he wanted to have and even managed to usurp the secretary of the interviewer himself. it is another story that the interviewer got a much better looking sec than the old one and my friend got mad & quit because of that!

Of late my friends tell me the way the guys are getting squeezed in their jobs in India, people have started to get wary of the time of work and days are not far off to have "time negotiations"...

Interviewer: yep. That I guess is it, from my side. Do you have any
questions?

You: I would like to discuss on..

Int: oops.. I thought I explained the package in detail? And I
understand you are a bit anxious on the HRA part.. but you know our
company policy.. (many a times I wonder how blatantly we lie on company
policies when we judge the bloke is not worth the real money!)

You: sorry to interrupt.. my question is not about that.. can you
clarify a bit on the working hours and days and..

Int: we have a six day work week with the 7th day as an optional
off-day, with the option exercisable only at the end of that day.
Ha..ha..

You: ha ha.. the working hours..

Int: we normally start at 9 and go as abnormal as impossible..

You: is it possible for me to leave max by 8.30 in the evening every
day? As I have heavy commitments at home (and I wish I had heavier
commitments not to come at all to work for you idiots!)..

Int: left to your boss.. normally he stays till he is carried away.. he
has divorced 3 times and I heard he had never met his second wife till
the divorce! Currently he is married to our Security Officer.. love
marriage you know?

You: (it's gotta be a Security! with the guy rotting all the nights here).. err.. when do you avail your annual leave? Do
you have a leave plan or..

Int: our annual leave is normally taken in cash.. you have the option of
not taking the cash!

You: understood.. hmmm.. I saw your cafeteria.. looks nice. Do you have
fixed tea and lunch hours?

Int: we have very flexible tea and lunch hours any time after 5! Before
that you may have to go by your boss!

You: (I was not asking about the dinner man!).. how about your
holiday work timings?

Int: we do not enforce any rules for holiday work so long as you make
sure you work on holidays! Jfyi, your boss comes earlier on holidays!

You: (dirty old laborer! Looks like he sleeps in his car saving house
rent! No wonder you guys have a rotten HRA policy!) sounds to be a super
hard worker.. does he take any sick leave at all (as it is, all you guys
look so sick and sure it makes no difference to you..)?

Int: I can guess, your question is on your sick leave eligibility eh?
You know, ours is a professional set-up. We allow you to carry office
documents home during these days.. on emergency situations we even
deliver the office files to the hospital bed! Employee welfare is very
important for us.

You: that's very nice of you (b*****..). just for my knowledge.. what is
the notice period just in case..

Int: 3 months either side.. only small difference is - the company can
give it retrospective but yours should be prospective.. fair no?

You: how long you have been working here (in this s**t place!)?

Int: right after my release..

You: #@**??##*** can I have some water please!!!