Pursue your, huh?

After a couple of risky switches in my career recently, I was suddenly left with a new zing for entrepreneurship (of course, this was before thankfully I got a job offer from Kuwait again, which I have taken up gleefully with both hands and legs – thank god, there is an ex, understanding, employer for every budding poor entrepreneur to go back to!)

SO – I decided to give a shot at starting off my own business. Here is where I got stuck. I read about 20 odd books on “how to become a millionaire before brushing teeth” “be content with 100M$ in the next 24 days, excluding public holidays” “be merciless - let your money slog for you” “hard work has no substitute – leave it as it is” "I bet you have it in you since I don't" and so on.  And I picked up one key line in all these books: PURSUE YOUR PASSION.

I started seriously checking my inner self out and kept questioning – hey, hold on. Before you start pursuing - what is your passion, first of all?

First - music came to my mind. Ah! I thought. This is it man! Here you go. You will have your 100M$ soon.. then after a couple of days of complete search of my soul, I found something seriously contradicting with my belief – “hey, wait a min. I am also passionate about music & Ilayaraja is also passionate about music. Isn’t something obviously wrong here?” I went out for a quite beer and challenged myself with some embarrassing questions on what I know in music – after my 4^th beer – it clearly told me that I am only passionate about LISTENING to music.  That revelation really shocked me! I seriously doubted my hearing abilities can bring me the kind of money I am pursuing along with my passion.

The next couple of days I was busy in getting my passion quotient right.

“Is it teaching? Nope man. Can’t be. Can anyone passionately teach “nothing”?”

“hey. Got it man. It is writing. STOP. Can you ever manage a one page vocabulary on any subject or non-subject?” – I ran for my next couple of beers. They again clarified in no ambiguous way – the ingredient is NEW IDEAS. I have heard people saying - an idea can change your life. But who will give that to me? any idea? After a brutal introspection, I realised I had no idea how people get ideas. The bartender too agreed with my idea.

“come on. It is REAL ESTATE. How can you miss it all the while? I ran for my research on real estate and almost got convinced this could most probably be my passion. After a few books and articles on real estate in India - quickly it dawned on me – my likely passion has little market now with billion barons struggling to close projects. “Can I make THE DIFFERENCE? You can man! Do it!” but where to start? I ran to my best friend. After carefully listening to my skills over a few drinks – he said “(to the bartender) repeat please – (to me) with your available resources - you can make a great rental broker man”. I was not clear why he said that.  When I checked my bank account the next day – I realised his reasoning.

The next few days again went in pursuit of finding my passion that is ever eluding me.

  

Telecom? “2G? 3G?” no G!- with 160K C already out of the system how do you make any more money? So I gave it a missed call from skype and forgot about it.

Stock market? “hmmm. No man. Your track record indicates your broker making more money from you than you ever made out of the market!”

Power? My learned friend who reads the Economic Times liberally many times a day said - “You know the next big scam that is in line in India is power. This will make the 2G and the coalgates, a petty shop pilferage! Do you have a place in the scam?  If no, obviously you have missed the bus. Switch off man. Save power”. I hardly understood what he meant but decided to play it safe by not playing with this.

After examining a series of options ranging from cooking till management guru role – I understood my passion is to stay passionless. One way it gave me a saintly feeling – never go behind anything. Desire is a sin. Stay aloof – that can get you to the freedom from all earthly troubles and so on...

This turnaround in my attitude – terrified me a bit.

“kill the passion” “eradicate desire” “stay mercilessly neutral” “be ruthless in rejection” .....

I started to fear that I am turning in to an aggressive saint. 

Hold on – something is wrong. You were never of this sort. stop this passion search.

I ran into another friend, who concluded after asking for 4 drinks on the last order for the night –“Leave it all alone man. Pursue nothing and get yourself back to a normal life” 

Here I am. Pursuing my normal life - which seems nice and neat.

SO ladies and gentlemen – pursue your passion, but before it starts menacingly pursuing you!